2 cents about my life: tolerance, sanity and love


This day 4 years ago I had my first day in Singapore then one thing led to another I finally got married to my classmate. My long distance relationship of 3 years has evolved to another but this time with my family. For some obvious reasons I secretly hope this LDR doesn’t last forever, because I’m 27 and felt like hell every time I had a night transit. For the last 12 months I flew like a chased bird with tons of exhausting night transits and hundreds spent on cosmetics and liquors aka the shopping which I did to just kill time. I now had five passport pages of immigration stamps that I’m not so much proud of except for the one for my marriage and the one in Thailand for my (our) summer holiday. One day if I doubt my life so much there’s at least one thing I’m good at that is talking about KLIA and Changi Airports and bargaining with shuttle bus drivers outside Noi Bai Airport (abbr NBIA?) :okay:

On the other hand, the good thing about having a long distance relationship is that you learn to treasure your time with them. You don’t miss the water till the well runs dry right?


The last 4 years was tough but that’s the right amount of toughness I needed. I went through a breakup, got into a new relationship, tried to maintain it, got into trouble again but solved it, got married and moved out of my parents’ house. Work-wise, I tried to settle myself down but ended up going over 4 positions, reached my lowest, wanted to quit but didn’t. But more than those things you can name and describe, Singapore gave me the open-eyed reality about myself and about my countrymen, which is not necessarily pleasant to know but just necessary. I know it makes sense that people develop a sense of superiority all the time, but it just gets on my nerve every time somebody puts down Vietnamese people, or when some Vietnamese puts down Chinese people. After the some political conflicts which I think have nothing to do with us citizens,  the tension on the Internet has crawled up to the point that some sane people I know have started to diss Chinese people and made-in-China goods while wearing a UNIQLO sweater and typing all of that on an iPhone (oh the irony). It makes me mad every time Vietnamese jam the comment section with hate comments against Chinese because of some bullshit tabloid article. Well I’m not going to lecture anyone, but as somebody who’s been around quite a handful of people from peer South East Asian countries, and a few Chinese people, I’m convinced that Vietnamese people are nowhere near top of the respect ladder, and while China is big and hated we’re just, sadly, hated.

I don’t hate on any country, nor do I think my country is better than any. I hang out with people regardless of their origins, and I’m definitely not saying all of this because my husband is Chinese. It’s just very absurd when a Chinese artist received so much hate because she expressed her political point of view. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong because that’s just the way she’s educated aka brainwashed by the media in her country, just like how us Vietnamese are made to believe that the Spratly Islands are ours and maybe Filipinos are made to believe they’re theirs. (OR that might have been her move to earn hearts of Chinese fans, which is very likely but that aside for now). Most of us believe what the government makes us to believe, and it should not interfere with our freedom to stay reasonable, open-minded and tolerant. I’m sure my point of view changed as I befriended foreign friends. Although it started with how the hell could I hate their country they’re my friend thing, I soon realise we’re just victims of those propaganda cow shit which governments create to protect their own wellbeing. If you ever feel annoyed by the overwhelm of Chinese tourists in Nha Trang, just ask yourself how easy it is for a Chinese to cross our border in the first place, either tourist, or a business, a subcontractor, whatever.

It’s sad to live the life of a small country. Corrupt and selfish governments. That’s surely a sad thing for us but what is even more absurd is that a corrupt government becomes a competitive advantage. When Chinese, Korean and Japanese FDI went blooming, it was sad enough to admit that they came for the natural resources, cheap labor and the easy bribery; but it was sadder to see government newspapers boasting about that. Globalisation is an asshole, but assholes live. (So do the innocent, just poorer)


Though the amount of land I’ve set foot in is only a piece of dusty dust in the world, I’ve always preferred it rather than traveling. I have nothing against those travel addicts it’s just not the way of life I choose. I’d rather come live in Seoul for a year than travel around 10 cities and talk to 5 people in each. When people are proud that they travel to 10 countries and they thought it’d give them experience and insight but I’d say only the former is true. They’ll sure get to breathe the exotic air they’ve never breathed before, and sure know the travel tips that save them money and stuff. Other than that, I doubt that 5 days would give them any insight about anything. Therefore, I HATE it when people make shallow comments out of their 5 days of experience. I once knew a girl who is that traveler’s type who came to Singapore and left unimpressed. She complained about Singapore’s lack of nature and sceneries, claimed it was boring, and started comparing it with the other cities she had been to. It was very unpleasant to hear although I don’t deny Singapore’s lack of fame for natural beauty, but she was in, like what, 5 acres of Singapore and acted like she knew the world.  That moment I wanted to shout at her: What do you even know about Singapore?  What do you even know about anything?

I myself know nothing of Singapore, but I guess there’s nothing ambiguous about this country. What you’ve known about Singapore is all true. It’s a country to be admired. Not necessarily the people, but the country.


So guys, enough with the hate and the cow shit sense of superiority and the know-it-all illusion, because no you’re not better than anyone. Love with all your hearts, and you’ll suddenly forget all the nonsensical hates.

I need to practice love.


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